The Reason for Repentence
Word has reached me, from a friend of a friend of a friend (etc.), that the One who made herself my enemy, is experiencing extreme remorse and regret. She did not mean for "any of this to happen"-- or so she says.
Hearing this as I have makes me think of what others have asked me: What would you say to her? Honestly, sometimes I don't know. Anger is wasted on the hard of heart, so I would not give her the gift of my anger. Likewise, appealing to reason is wasted on the unreasonable, so I could not ask if she realized before she acted both how much she would hurt me AND how much she would hurt so many others?
She is an atheist, as I've said in this space, so I have only a scant sense of what one whose spirit is set that way might come to some peace. I mean, when one discovers within oneself one's capacity for evil, one's capacity for inhumanity, doesn't that frighten one to one's depths? How then does one deal within oneself with the fear? How does one deal with the existential shuddering?
I know that all of the world's religions take this capacity for evil into account in their assessment of the human condition. In Judaism, there is a Day of Atonement. In Christianity, there is belief that the sacrifice Jesus made on the Cross provided atonement, and there are processes for repenting, and for receiving forgiveness.
Because our capacity to be inhuman to each other is universal, the rituals various religions have established for restoring one's integrity when one shudders to discover just how far out of integrity one has placed oneself, are necessary to the project of continuing to live. Otherwise, the prospect is for a miserable life indeed.
Every 12-Step program has within it a process for "making amends." I like that phrase, because of the sense of "mending" what has been ripped or torn.
What I would say to the One who made herself my enemy goes along those lines: I believe she has a lot of "mending" to do. I would hope she would set about doing that.
Hearing this as I have makes me think of what others have asked me: What would you say to her? Honestly, sometimes I don't know. Anger is wasted on the hard of heart, so I would not give her the gift of my anger. Likewise, appealing to reason is wasted on the unreasonable, so I could not ask if she realized before she acted both how much she would hurt me AND how much she would hurt so many others?
She is an atheist, as I've said in this space, so I have only a scant sense of what one whose spirit is set that way might come to some peace. I mean, when one discovers within oneself one's capacity for evil, one's capacity for inhumanity, doesn't that frighten one to one's depths? How then does one deal within oneself with the fear? How does one deal with the existential shuddering?
I know that all of the world's religions take this capacity for evil into account in their assessment of the human condition. In Judaism, there is a Day of Atonement. In Christianity, there is belief that the sacrifice Jesus made on the Cross provided atonement, and there are processes for repenting, and for receiving forgiveness.
Because our capacity to be inhuman to each other is universal, the rituals various religions have established for restoring one's integrity when one shudders to discover just how far out of integrity one has placed oneself, are necessary to the project of continuing to live. Otherwise, the prospect is for a miserable life indeed.
Every 12-Step program has within it a process for "making amends." I like that phrase, because of the sense of "mending" what has been ripped or torn.
What I would say to the One who made herself my enemy goes along those lines: I believe she has a lot of "mending" to do. I would hope she would set about doing that.
posted by TRXTR | 10:36 AM
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