Loving Enemies

One of the saddest aspects of my present predicament, and one of the most difficult for me to accept, is that I have an enemy. I've probably said before that I don't think of myself as someone who makes enemies. I like to think of myself as a reconciler or conciliator, someone who brings people together. For someone to have set themselves over against me, for whatever reason, and maliciously so, simply stuns me. I find the whole notion difficult to integrate into my reality.

But it is true. So I must.

Thus, maybe for one of the few times in my life, I have to ask myself what value my enemy is to me? This question poses itself this way because, I ask myself, why else would Jesus tell us to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, (Mt 5.43f)" if we are not to value them in some way.

Sure, Jesus goes on to give us the divine perspective: the sun shines and the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike. Adversaries should always be wary of claiming God's exclusive affection on one side or another. And Jesus appeals to our sense of our being "better" selves, by asking us to strive for a higher moral behavior. Clearly there is no moral advantage to returning evil for evil, hate for hate.

At the same time, there is no moral benefit to denying that one's enemies truly are one's enemies! To think of them as anything other is simply to provide inadequate response and to underestimate their destructive power. I mean, my enemies are certainly NOT thinking of me as their "neighbor!"

Which takes me back to my question: Of what value are my enemies to me, as enemies?

Well, the first thing that comes to mind is that my enemies have forced me to examine myself, to, as the words of the hymn go, "see if there be any wicked way in me." Enemies force us to examine ourselves; they hold up a mirror for the parts of ourselves we least like to see. In that way, they make us wonder who we really are.

Moreover, along these lines, our enemies help us define ourselves. They make us say who we are, and who we are not. We cannot let our enemies define us-- how could we live with that? So we have to do this for ourselves, often under the most tense circumstances.

In my case, I cannot believe myself to be the person my enemies say that I am. I cannot let that stand, and I cannot live with myself by their sense of who I am and what I've done.

This is another way our enemies are of value to us: not only do they present negative images of us, and demand that we declare who we truly are, but they also make us fight for that sense of ourselves, over the one that they hold. I think this is truly the value to me of my enemies in this present situation. I see myself as someone who is more likely to assume that people think well of me, and to roll with those who may not be entirely convinced! But in the face of my enemies genuine hostility-- in truth, they would destroy me-- I must find an "opposing forcefulness" in myself.

It is no exaggeration to say that I am in a situation in which I truly must stand and fight for myself, for my self-understanding, for my dignity, my truth, my reputation, my identity-- indeed for everything that goes in to making me who I am. I know that this has never been true for me before-- and I must trust that it will not have to be true for me again. But just as certainly, I've never before had to tap into such a deep certainty and resourcefulness in myself.

These days, I am put in mind of Martin Luther, who gave us perhaps the ultimate example of self-definition in the face of those who would oppose and even harm him. He said, "Here I stand. I can do no other." These days, as I stand up for myself, I know better what he meant.

This may be my most "Lutheran" moment!

Blessings...