Not Worrying, Part Two
"Don't forget to breathe!" It is my physical trainer, Richie, talking, as he's putting me through my paces, but it might just as well be spiritual advice he's giving me. Breathing is at the center of all things-- physical, spiritual, emotional.
So today I am not fretting. I am not exactly in the clueless state of MAD magazine's Alfred E. Neuman ("What? Me worry?), but I am paying particular attention today to the spiritual side of my sense of being lost. I know it is a frequent theme in my current state, so it is interesting to me how I turn this dilemma over and over in my soul, and what I experience each time I do.
Like the worries for basic needs that arise in their way, my concern for what this all means, and where do I go from here, all come in their turn. As I've said, I've not only trusted before in God's leading, but I'd always felt that God had led me to where I was, to that place of service. Now that I am not serving there, where then, O Lord?
It has become apparent to me that this is a good time for me to learn once more, and as always, the lesson on Matthew 6:33-- the importance of "seeking the kingdom of God" primarily and above all. I am certain that in that aim is my ultimate solace and learning.
And I'm finding a new meaning to the word, "first." Not only as in, "first thing in the AM," as I begin my day. But now also as in, "first, before embarking on any of the activities with which I must occupy my day." I sit, before I phone, or write, or read, or whatever, and I pause and say, "Teach me where your kingdom is in this, O Lord." Or, "Manifest your kingdom in this..." Or, "Let your righteousness be clear in this..." "First" now more than ever for me means: at the beginning; in the aim of what I think, feel, and do.
In other words, in the midst of my loss, when I am most aware of the magnitude of what I have lost, and most likely to be affected by it, I turn my heart to two things I know about God.
One is: God is leading. So when I feel lost about my own potential to find my way out of this, then I am comforted to know that it is not entirely up to me! And may not even be as "up to me" as I sometime think or fear! God is leading.
Lead me through this day, too, O Lord!
The other is: God and God alone truly is "the domino that doesn't fall down!" I used to tell my bereavement volunteers that they could rely upon me, because I would be for them "the domino that doesn't fall down." I knew I could be that for them because I was always relying upon God, as my unfaltering Domino! So when I fell... several asked: who will be our "domino that doesn't fall down?" Ah, but this is what we all discover eventually, don't we? There really is only One Domino-that-Doesn't-Fall-Down!
These days, more than ever, when I so frequently feel knocked on my "keester," as one of my Scout leaders would say, it helps me to feel again the certain leaning on that Sturdy Domino.
And then, having reached my feet, sometimes on days when it truly does take some effort just to stand, to follow God's leading for that day.
At least, I make that my constant aim.
Blessings, all...
So today I am not fretting. I am not exactly in the clueless state of MAD magazine's Alfred E. Neuman ("What? Me worry?), but I am paying particular attention today to the spiritual side of my sense of being lost. I know it is a frequent theme in my current state, so it is interesting to me how I turn this dilemma over and over in my soul, and what I experience each time I do.
Like the worries for basic needs that arise in their way, my concern for what this all means, and where do I go from here, all come in their turn. As I've said, I've not only trusted before in God's leading, but I'd always felt that God had led me to where I was, to that place of service. Now that I am not serving there, where then, O Lord?
It has become apparent to me that this is a good time for me to learn once more, and as always, the lesson on Matthew 6:33-- the importance of "seeking the kingdom of God" primarily and above all. I am certain that in that aim is my ultimate solace and learning.
And I'm finding a new meaning to the word, "first." Not only as in, "first thing in the AM," as I begin my day. But now also as in, "first, before embarking on any of the activities with which I must occupy my day." I sit, before I phone, or write, or read, or whatever, and I pause and say, "Teach me where your kingdom is in this, O Lord." Or, "Manifest your kingdom in this..." Or, "Let your righteousness be clear in this..." "First" now more than ever for me means: at the beginning; in the aim of what I think, feel, and do.
In other words, in the midst of my loss, when I am most aware of the magnitude of what I have lost, and most likely to be affected by it, I turn my heart to two things I know about God.
One is: God is leading. So when I feel lost about my own potential to find my way out of this, then I am comforted to know that it is not entirely up to me! And may not even be as "up to me" as I sometime think or fear! God is leading.
Lead me through this day, too, O Lord!
The other is: God and God alone truly is "the domino that doesn't fall down!" I used to tell my bereavement volunteers that they could rely upon me, because I would be for them "the domino that doesn't fall down." I knew I could be that for them because I was always relying upon God, as my unfaltering Domino! So when I fell... several asked: who will be our "domino that doesn't fall down?" Ah, but this is what we all discover eventually, don't we? There really is only One Domino-that-Doesn't-Fall-Down!
These days, more than ever, when I so frequently feel knocked on my "keester," as one of my Scout leaders would say, it helps me to feel again the certain leaning on that Sturdy Domino.
And then, having reached my feet, sometimes on days when it truly does take some effort just to stand, to follow God's leading for that day.
At least, I make that my constant aim.
Blessings, all...
posted by TRXTR | 9:48 AM
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